To Ian

I am cleaning this house, our home, going through things that I haven’t really looked at for a long time. I have run across old love letters and photographs, and our wedding “guest book”-the picture with the large mat that everyone signed, still without glass after all these years. And I read what they wrote, all wishing us happiness, even those that knew better. It makes me remember when we asked our loved ones for marriage advice and included it in our wedding ceremony-how real people were and how poignant it is now to think back on it.

And I think, too, about this milestone you are coming upon. Tomorrow, you will be 40. For 15 years, I have shared a life with you. I am so very blessed. You said this morning that the first 20 years are spent laying a foundation, and the next 20 years are building something on it. I think the next 20 years will be nurturing what we’ve built, and being so thankful for it all.

Each day, I am grateful that our children have you for a father. That they get to live everyday with everything a man should be: smart, reliable, loving, confident, emotional, supportive, strong, vulnerable, silly, kind. I could not think of a better example for them, especially for our son. I am so glad that he is learning what it means to be a man from being with you.

Because of you, our kids will also grow up knowing what a great partnership looks like. They know there may be disagreements, but that disagreements do not change the fundamental fact that no matter what, we are on the same team. They learn that even when we disagree, we are kind. They are sure that everything we do is rooted in love.  That you are my biggest fan, and I am yours, and that is what it means to have someone’s back.

You still make me laugh every day. You still surprise me. You still manage to make me think, to get me fired up about things, to take a new perspective. Your graying hair is handsome. I love the laugh lines around your eyes that didn’t used to be there.  I am hard-pressed to believe that I fell in love with you when you were 25, because it seems like forever ago and yesterday all at the same time.

Time will keep passing, and birthdays will keep happening. Each day, I will keep counting my blessings, and each day you will be at the top of the list. And all those things that once seemed trite-that love gets better as it changes into something deeper; that we should enjoy each moment because time passes so quickly; that we never know what lies next on this journey, so you’d better like your travel partner-will continue take on meaning because we are lucky enough to truly understand them through the lens of our own real moments.

Thank you for all of it. And happy birthday.